Stakeout At The Local Saloon
A policeman parked his car outside of a local neighborhood bar while on patrol. Later in the evening, the officer noticed a man leaving the bar who was so intoxicated he could barely walk.
The man staggered around the parking lot for a few minutes while the officer quietly observed his behavior. After what seemed an eternity and trying his keys on five different vehicles he managed to find his own car, which he fell into. He was there for a few minutes as a number of other patrons left the bar and drove off.
Finally he started the car, switched the wipers on and off (it was a dry night), flicked the hazard flasher, tooted the horn and then switched on the lights.
He moved the vehicle forward a few inches, reversed a little and remained then stationary for a few more minutes as more patrons left in their vehicles. At last he pulled out of the parking lot and started driving slowly down the street.
The police officer, having patiently waited all this time now revved up his patrol car, put on the flashing lights, and promptly pulled the man over. He gave the driver a breathalyzer test and to his astonishment, the breathalyzer indicated absolutely no evidence of the man having consumed alcohol at all.
Dumbfounded, the officer said, "Sir. I'm going to have to take you in to the police station. Apparently this equipment is broken."
"I sincerely doubt it," replied the man, "I was drinking orange juice. Tonight I'm the designated decoy !!"