The Best Toast
With the gang gathered 'round at the pub, John O'Reilly hoisted his pint and proclaimed, "Here's to spending the rest of me life, between the legs of me wife!"
Cheers broke out from his mates, and that won him the prize for best toast of the night!
He went home and boasted to his wife, Mary, "I won the prize for the best toast of the night."
She said, "Aye, did ye now? And what was your toast?"
Thinking quickly, he said, "Here's to spending the rest of me life, sitting in church beside me wife."
"Oh, that is very nice indeed, John!" Mary said.
The next day, Mary ran into one of John's drinking buddies on the street corner.
The man chuckled leeringly and said, "John won the prize the other night at the pub with a toast about you, Mary."
She said, "Aye, he told me so, and I was a bit surprised myself. You know, he's only been there twice in the last four years. Once he fell asleep, and the other time I had to pull him by the ears to get him to come."