It was a sweltering morning in South Dakota as Joey D. pushed the heavy,
commercial grade lawn mower past what seemed like endless rows of tombstones at Eternal
Rest Memorial Gardens, Inc. in Mitchell. It seemed that as soon as he finished at one end,
it was time to start over at the other.
It was as he pushed the mower into section Q, row 12 that he first saw
it. Up ahead were two white hearses and a funeral procession unlike any he had ever seen
in his life.
A man with a strange smirk on his face for someone in mourning, and
oddly enough, his dog dressed in a tuxedo, were peering out the window of the air
conditioned limo at the throng of people congregating at the grave site. The line of
people still coming in snaked all the way around the lake and out the west end gate!
Joey D.'s foreman was busy stuffing confiscated flower pots and flags
(left on the graves past the July 15th deadline) in the trunk of his old rusted out Pinto.
So Joey D. (making the biggest decision he would make all week) decided to shut down the
mower and mosey on over to the procession. He wanted to find out who had died and what
that darn dog was doing attending the service. Must be a couple of mighty important
people, he thought to himself, like the owners of the Corn Palace.
As Joey D.approached a guy in line he said, "Man, I've never seen
so many people lined up for a funeral. Who's in that first white hearse, the president or
mayor or some general or somethin'?"
"No, it's nobody like that. I don't know her name, but I know she's
the guy in the limo's wife", said the bystander, "and that dog in the tux killed
"Oh, man, you've gotta be kiddin' me", exclaimed Joey D..
"No, it's for real! And the guys mother-in-law is in the other
hearse. The dog killed her too", said the guy.
"That widower could make a million bucks if he auctioned off his
dog" exclaimed Joey D., half joking.
"What in the heck do you think this line is for???", asked the