If Bandaids Could Talk
A guy decides to take off work early from work and
He stays in the bar until it closes at 2 in the
morning, at which time he is extremely drunk.
When he gets back to his house, he doesn't want to
anyone up, so he takes off his shoes and starts tiptoeing up
Halfway up the stairs, he loses his balance, falls
over backwards, and lands flat on his rear end.
That wouldn't have been so bad, except that he had a couple of empty
pint bottles in his back pockets and they broke. The broken glass
carved up his rear end terribly, but he was so drunk he didn't know
he was hurt.
A few minutes later, as he was undressing, he saw
some blood. He checked himself out in the mirror and sure enough,
his rear end is cut up something terrible. He repaired the damage as
best he could under the circumstances and went to bed.
The next morning, his head was hurting and his
hurting, and he was laying under the covers trying to think up a
good story, when his wife came into the bedroom.
"Well, you really tied on on last night,
didn't you" she said. "Where'd you go?"
"I worked late," he said, "and I
stopped off for a couple of
"A couple of beers? That's a laugh," she
replied. "You were
plastered last night - where'd you go?"
"What makes you so sure I got drunk last
"Well," she replied, "my first big
clue was when I got up this morning and found a bunch of band-aids
stuck to the mirror."