Clocks In Heaven
Hillary Clinton died and went to heaven. (I know, I know, but it's a joke. Stick with me here.)
As she stood in front of Saint Peter at the Pearly Gates, she saw a huge wall of clocks behind him.
She asked, "So what are all these clocks about?"
Saint Peter answered, "Those are Lie Clocks. Everyone on Earth has a Lie Clock. Every time you lie, the hands on your clock will move."
Oh," said Hillary. "Well whose clock is that?"
"That one belongs to Jesus. The hands have never moved, indicating he has never told a lie."
"And whose clock is that?" asked Hillary.
"That's Abraham Lincoln's clock. The hands have only moved twice, telling us Abe told two lies in his entire life."
"So where's Bill's clock?" Hillary inquired.
"Bill's clock is in Jesus' office."
"Wow! Now that's pretty good, isn't it Pete?"
"Well not exactly . . .
. . . he's using it as a ceiling fan."