A man went to visit his 90 year old Grandfather.
His Grandfather lived in a very remote, secluded, rural area of Arkansas.
After spending the night at the house, his Grandfather prepared a breakfast of eggs and bacon. As the man was eating he noticed a film like substance on the plate, and he asked, "Grandfather, are these plates clean?"
His Grandfather replied, "They're as clean as cold water can get 'em, sonny, so go on and finish your meal."
Later on that day, Grandfather prepared a wonderful lunch of hamburger steak and new potatoes. As the man was eating he noticed tiny specks around the edge of his plate, and a substance that looked like dried egg.
Concerned about his health, he asked again, "Grandfather, are you sure that these plates are clean?" Without looking up from his plate, his Grandfather replied, "I told you before; those dishes are as clean as cold water can get 'em, now don't ask me about it any more!"
That evening, the man decided to go out to a restaurant for dinner in a nearby town. As he walked toward the door, his Grandfather's dog started to growl and would not let him pass.
Grandfather," the man complained, "your dog won't let me by."
Without diverting his attention from the Razorbacks game on television, Grandfather shouted: "Coldwater! Get up and move out of the way and let the boy pass!"