Onions & Christmas Trees
A young boy asks his father, "Dad, is it OK for us guys to notice all the different kind of boobs?"
Surprised, the father answers, "Well, sure son, we wouldn't be normal if we didn't. There are all kinds of breasts, depending on a woman's age . . . In her twenties, a woman's breasts are like melons, round and firm. In her thirties to forties, they are like pears, still nice but hanging a bit. After fifty, they are like onions."
"Yeah, you see them and they make you cry . . ."
Not to be outdone, his sister asks her mother, "Mom, how many kind of weenies are there?"
The mother, delighted to have equal time, answers, "Well, dear, a man goes through three phases. In a man's twenties, a man's weenie is like an oak, mighty and hard. In his thirties and forties, it is like a birch, flexible but reliable. After his fifties, it is like a Christmas tree."
"A Christmas tree?"
"Yep, all dried up and the balls are only there for decoration . . ."