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Razor Blade Dryer; the Razor Pro dries razor blades to extend blade life
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Magellan & Garmin Handheld GPS Navigation units
Motorcycle Covers by CycleVault
It takes a Community Effort to keep track of the best items and prices on the Internet.
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Hoover Canada - Canadian Hoover Vacuum Cleaners - models, parts and accessories - models, parts and accessories
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Howard Miller Clocks and other fine gift items at Al's Gifts!
GPS Rechargeable Batteries for Timex GPS Watches
AA Wire Die Ace American Wire Die Company
Trail Runner is the newest Timex Bodylink 5c391 GPS Model made specifically for the shocks of trail running.
Green and White Outdoors Landscape Company.
iPod, iPod mini and iPod accessories for the Apple iPod are yours at PodMania.com
Phiar stands a chance to become the hottest company on the planet with a new line of semiconductors that challenge the status-quo!
Borlin Orchids for sale at amazing prices

ammo for sale

Ya Gotta Love Andy Rooney

Andy Rooney; Mon, 5 Jan 2004

1. Andy Rooney on Monica.  Can you believe it?  Monica turned 28 this week.  It seems like only yesterday that she was crawling round the White House on her hands and knees.

2. Andy Rooney on Vegetarians.  Vegetarian - that's an old Indian word meaning "lousy hunter".

3. Andy Rooney on Prisoners.  Did you know that it costs forty thousand dollars a year to house each prisoner?  Jeez, for forty thousand bucks apiece I'll take a few prisoners into my house.  I live in Los Angeles and already have bars on the windows.  I don't think we should give free room and board to criminals.  I think they should have to run twelve hours a day on a treadmill and generate electricity.  And, if they don't want to run, they can rest in the chair that's hooked up to the generator.

4. Andy Rooney on Fabric Softeners.  My wife uses fabric softener.  I never knew what that stuff was for. Then  noticed women coming up to me, sniffing, then saying under their breath, "Married!" and walking away.  Fabric softeners are how our wives mark their territory.  We can take off the ring.  But, it's hard to get that April Fresh scent out of your clothes.

5. Andy Rooney on morning differences.  Men and women are different in the morning.  We men wake up aroused in the morning.  We can't help it.  We just wake up and we want you.  And the women are thinking, "How can he want me the way I look in the morning?"  It's because we can't see you.  We have no blood anywhere near our optic nerve.

6. Andy Rooney on phone-in-polls.  You know those shows where people call in and vote on different issues?  Did  you ever notice there's always like 18% that say "I don't know."  It costs 90 cents to call up and vote and they're voting "I don't know."  Give me the phone.  (Says into the phone) "I DON'T KNOW!" (Hangs up looking proud.)  "Sometimes you have to stand up for what you believe you're not sure about."  This guy probably calls up phone sex girls for $2.95 to say, "I'm not in the mood."

7. Andy Rooney on cripes. My wife's from the midwest.  Very nice people there.  Very wholesome.  They use words like 'Cripes' 'For Cripes sake.'   Who would that be; Jesus Cripes?  The son of 'Gosh' of the church of 'Holy Moly'?  I'm not making fun of it.  You think I wanna burn in 'Heck'?

8. Andy Rooney on Grandma.  My grandmother has a bumper sticker on her car that says, 'Sexy Senior Citizen.'  You don't want to think of your grandmother that way, do you?  Out entering wet shawl contests.  Makes you wonder where she got that dollar she gave you for your birthday.

9. Andy Rooney on answering machines.  Did you ever hear one of these corny positive messages on someone's answering machine?  "Hi, it's a great day and I'm out enjoying it right now.  I hope you are too.  The thought for the day is: "Share the love."  BEEP "Uh,  yeah . . . this is the VD clinic calling . . . Speaking of being positive, your  test results are back.  Stop sharing the love."

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